Here I am again! I feel that the Lord likes putting things right in front of me and says "Deal with this now, Jenn!"
I have a son with ADHD and I also have ADD yes so that means I'm to blame for the genetics of my son! I stopped reading my novels and started reading books on the ADHD and WHOA!! FYI there is a lot to know but everything can be corrected. IN the past I have held a job working with kids who have Autism. So this shouldn't be hard for me... well to say the least it is!! I'm have a temper kids with ADHD are super sensitive to anger and yelling and naturally have a low self esteem. So I can fix this!! I can control my anger. I have to laugh because I always think of the movie Anger Management starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. Anger is the one thing you can never find once you've lost it! I actually found a really good blog about controlling your anger http://theorangerhino.com/. I'm going to try this with all my heart in hopes that one of the problems my son has we can control easily through my actions not his!
The other issue I have is lately I've been feeling that I need to do more as a mother. I'm constantly trying to fit everything in all before I go to work everyday. I don't remember as a youngster ever feeling rushed by my mom. The goal is to have my bills paid ASAP and go back to working part time till the kids are older. Yes I want to go back to school myself just now is not that time! I always believe that the Lord will provide but I also need to get myself outta the whole. I got myself in that mess I can get myself out!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Sunday, March 25, 2012
A good weekend.
So I went this weekend one day to my church's annual women's retreat. I always find this retreat is such a blessing and a great way to share and rekindle my fire for Christ. It is needed, believe me! During free time I had my annual talk with a good friend and shared with her my struggle that I've been going through with my husband. I won't go into detail about that cause seriously it's a big topic I'm not going to go into on here... But she shared with me how or rather where I could go for some guidance on the matter and even perhaps get my husband a mentor to help him out! I have to say that idea rather appeals to me and I will broach the subject with him soon.
We had another group meeting and afterwards just before the end, L asked if anyone wanted to share how things are going with their life with God... No one spoke up. Side note real quick: I usually get a nudge from God when I need to speak up and I was ignoring it but L said it again and I decided to not ignore it. I spoke up and shared that right now I'm struggling with God but I'd like prayer on one thing in particular and that was Brian's grandma who is dying.. I shared with everyone what happened and what I did and that if they could to keep praying that I can go back and keep sharing with her the good news of our Christ! Their love and support and so encouraging, I suggest everyone have a church like mine with a support like I get at my church!
We had another group meeting and afterwards just before the end, L asked if anyone wanted to share how things are going with their life with God... No one spoke up. Side note real quick: I usually get a nudge from God when I need to speak up and I was ignoring it but L said it again and I decided to not ignore it. I spoke up and shared that right now I'm struggling with God but I'd like prayer on one thing in particular and that was Brian's grandma who is dying.. I shared with everyone what happened and what I did and that if they could to keep praying that I can go back and keep sharing with her the good news of our Christ! Their love and support and so encouraging, I suggest everyone have a church like mine with a support like I get at my church!
Friday, March 23, 2012
I'm a rebel. I'm a REBEL! I'm a rebel?
Did you know that having tattoo's and body piercing is considered a rebellion? hmmm I struggle with this on a personal level and a broader more open level as well.
I often think of the reasons I got my tattoo's. I always gave them much thought and had guidelines before actually getting any, all have some reason of some sort... I promise! :) I've been in many different stages of my life when I got them. Some are to document that I'm old enough I can make my own descison... My first the lizard on my hip! Others were to make I'm even older and still want to ink my body ... a frog on my back or the butterfly on my foot. Another to document my love for my brother whom I lost tragically and our common bond of our favorite group! Weight loss goal.. ladybug on my neck. Then as time moved on they became art I love to see and admire.. flowers on my arm and shoulder. I love every piece for its own reason and yet....
There is this little part of me that is free and wild and well... rebellious! Who wouldn't want to be covered in art and live free with no bousnderies? Well ok not everyone, but for me it's the little part I can do to show that I'm a rebel and there isn't much you can do about it!
Does this hinder my witness for God????? I hope not honestly I hope that if you see them that is not what you judge me on? There is sooo oh so much more than you could possibly imagine that is going on with my life in Christ by just getting to know me.
So please talk to me ask about my ink and ask me about my personal relationship with Christ. He is not going to judge you by how you look on the outside, and He does want to know you personally!
I often think of the reasons I got my tattoo's. I always gave them much thought and had guidelines before actually getting any, all have some reason of some sort... I promise! :) I've been in many different stages of my life when I got them. Some are to document that I'm old enough I can make my own descison... My first the lizard on my hip! Others were to make I'm even older and still want to ink my body ... a frog on my back or the butterfly on my foot. Another to document my love for my brother whom I lost tragically and our common bond of our favorite group! Weight loss goal.. ladybug on my neck. Then as time moved on they became art I love to see and admire.. flowers on my arm and shoulder. I love every piece for its own reason and yet....
There is this little part of me that is free and wild and well... rebellious! Who wouldn't want to be covered in art and live free with no bousnderies? Well ok not everyone, but for me it's the little part I can do to show that I'm a rebel and there isn't much you can do about it!
Does this hinder my witness for God????? I hope not honestly I hope that if you see them that is not what you judge me on? There is sooo oh so much more than you could possibly imagine that is going on with my life in Christ by just getting to know me.
So please talk to me ask about my ink and ask me about my personal relationship with Christ. He is not going to judge you by how you look on the outside, and He does want to know you personally!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Something BIG.. I mean Huge!
Brian's grandmother is dying. She has lost the will to survive, hasn't eaten anything for over 2 weeks.
I was thinking about her as I drove this past week and the Lord put the burden on my heart to go talk to her about her salvation. I know when the Lord is talking to me, when its a thought I can't shake. So I prayed that the Lord would not call on her end till after I've spoken with her at least once if not more. This process brought me to tears each time I thought about it, (which BTW happened about every time I was driving alone) I struggled with it since I have never really talked to her about it before and I admit I am still new at doing this. So in the days that followed I'd rehearse what I wanted to say in my head. Come on I've heard this and know this my entire life.
For we have all sinned but fall short of the glory of God and only through Him can we ask for forgiveness and ask that our sins be washed white as snow.
Sounds easy right? No! I'm an emotional ball of emotions when I go. Hello!? Have you ever visited someone who is on their death bed? Trust me when I say it is something you would not want to see and it's emotional to say the least, then you put on my own ball of nervousness from speaking so pointedly. I cried, got a hold of myself and told her the truth of our Lord.
I don't know if she understood or heard all that I was saying but I pray that she did and that she is thinking about it I will go again next week or sooner if Gpa calls to say she's nearing the end. But I gotta continue to pray that she did and she has been thinking out it even though she wants to die. I told her I want to see her again I want to see her in heaven where it is beautiful and where Christ is and we will all my in His glory, I hope that last little bit is helping her too?
This was tough but I feel that if she understands me the truth shall prevail and the Lord does want us all!! No matter how much we have sinned! All we have to do is ask for His forgiveness and for His mercy........
Pray for her and that the message will sink and next time I go I speak up louder and she says in her own little way that she wants HIM!!
I was thinking about her as I drove this past week and the Lord put the burden on my heart to go talk to her about her salvation. I know when the Lord is talking to me, when its a thought I can't shake. So I prayed that the Lord would not call on her end till after I've spoken with her at least once if not more. This process brought me to tears each time I thought about it, (which BTW happened about every time I was driving alone) I struggled with it since I have never really talked to her about it before and I admit I am still new at doing this. So in the days that followed I'd rehearse what I wanted to say in my head. Come on I've heard this and know this my entire life.
For we have all sinned but fall short of the glory of God and only through Him can we ask for forgiveness and ask that our sins be washed white as snow.
Sounds easy right? No! I'm an emotional ball of emotions when I go. Hello!? Have you ever visited someone who is on their death bed? Trust me when I say it is something you would not want to see and it's emotional to say the least, then you put on my own ball of nervousness from speaking so pointedly. I cried, got a hold of myself and told her the truth of our Lord.
I don't know if she understood or heard all that I was saying but I pray that she did and that she is thinking about it I will go again next week or sooner if Gpa calls to say she's nearing the end. But I gotta continue to pray that she did and she has been thinking out it even though she wants to die. I told her I want to see her again I want to see her in heaven where it is beautiful and where Christ is and we will all my in His glory, I hope that last little bit is helping her too?
This was tough but I feel that if she understands me the truth shall prevail and the Lord does want us all!! No matter how much we have sinned! All we have to do is ask for His forgiveness and for His mercy........
Pray for her and that the message will sink and next time I go I speak up louder and she says in her own little way that she wants HIM!!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Starting Out and Preparing
This seems like a good place to start... I've been talking with a few people at church and after this weekend at the ladies retreat, I will also talk to my pastor. I haven't decided with whom yet but I feel God will lead me to the right direction and who knows I may even talk to both? :)
My birthday is 4 and half months away so I still have plenty of time to work out details. But I'm a planner I like to know what the blueprint looks like before I get there. With that being said I know God will do it all in His own time.
The first blog is now being posted and in following months and weeks and then days I will tell how the Lord is leading me in His way to make this the best of my years and one of the most important years in my journey for self discovery and missions and testament!
Goals: Tell my testimony to one lady this weekend without falling apart.
Tell as many as ladies as can about my plans for this year.
Work on smoothing out my testimony. (Where is the best place to start?)
My birthday is 4 and half months away so I still have plenty of time to work out details. But I'm a planner I like to know what the blueprint looks like before I get there. With that being said I know God will do it all in His own time.
The first blog is now being posted and in following months and weeks and then days I will tell how the Lord is leading me in His way to make this the best of my years and one of the most important years in my journey for self discovery and missions and testament!
Goals: Tell my testimony to one lady this weekend without falling apart.
Tell as many as ladies as can about my plans for this year.
Work on smoothing out my testimony. (Where is the best place to start?)
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