Times ... They are a changing...

      So much has been happening lately I'm not sure where to begin... So I will first start with the less dramatic.  I started school!!  I started in late March at KTI in Harrisburg for Medical Assistant degree and certification program.  It's an 18 month program that I attend 4 days a week for 6 hours! And I am totally rocking it!!! :) TOOT TOOT!!

      My plan is that I can finally get a better job and have a career to be proud of with a future. My plan is also to get the heck out of Dodge!! OK OK I know I don't live in Dodge but you get my point I want out of here! My life has never been to stay here and I have already stayed too long!

     Now with that being said you may also wonder what that means for my husband and I and I'll tell you the move would be without him....

     I feel I have asked for so long for him to change, asked for so long for something to be different and it hasn't changed he has made no effort to make things move in a different direction. It started two years ago maybe even further back that I told him I was unhappy. Yes, maybe every woman turns thirty and says to herself "Is this where I wanted to be when I was this age"? I was miserable knowing that it wasn't and when I told him that he just asked, "Why"?  I don't why but it was at this time I started unconsciously pulling away from our marriage. I don't want to blame anyone because I feel that we are both to blame in some ways, and sometimes marriages just don't work!

     It's been a tough go around I will admit and I don't recommend anyone just giving up on their marriage when things don't work out but in my case I don't know how to fix it!  I've given what I feel at this time is the best to try and feel something tried to get that spark that was there and it just isn't there!  I've cried I've prayed and I've talked about it over and over to enough people I just don't think it can be fixed.  This IS going to be the hardest thing I will ever do... It won't be easy moving forward in the beginning but somewhere in the future it WILL work out the way it is intended!  I don't know what else to say about this matter.  But I pray that God will guide me to do what is right, and that what He has intended for me is where I am heading.


Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

 

 

A bit of a change!

A BIG name change!!!!


I'm excited to announce in a way that I'm going to be changing my blog name! This maybe a small thing but for me it's huge!

I've been going through a transformation over the past year and now it's just getting bigger!!

First let me share that over the past year I've lost 60 lbs!! This is so huge, I mean seriously look at me! I weighed more than I did 9 months pregnant with the baby girl! I had no excuses, no reasons for me being over weight except my own choices. Well I've talked to my health coach Lisa and she got me hooked up with a program and habits of health! And then after months something just clicked and I'm now only 10 pounds away from my goal weight! And since I am so excited about this program I've also become a health coach!!

 

In finding my health I've also rediscovered my energy and started jogging!!!!  I am a runner! This term is crazy I look back to myself in High school and hated running literally hated running! So now I don't feel that way any more, I get upset when I can't make it to the gym. I get excited when I've just finished jogging for 20 minutes straight then 22 minutes! It's addicting!  Brian my loving husband at my request bought my a fit bit for mother's day and this little high tech pedometer keeps me motivated! Silly I know!

 

Another aspect of health is spiritual. 

The bible tells us  

     

1 Corinthians 10:31        

                So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 

              I want my body the best it can be not only for myself and my family but for GOD too!

          Romans 12:1     

                                   I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your          bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

 

Is it a din to be over weight? No that isn't what I am saying! I am saying that if I can be better for Christ I want to be better for Christ! Bottom line!

 

So my hope is to be posting more and sharing my goals and triumphs coming up!  If you are interested in hearing more about how I found health and lost the extra weight that was holding me back ... check out www.simplyjenn.ichooseoptimalhealth.com

 

Oh and I'll be changing the same after this posts!! :)

 

 

 

  

 

New goals and new trials!

So much has happened since I've last wrote and also some big changes in the near future for my little family!

First I was able to give a brief testimony at church Easter Sunday!!  It was awesome and of course nerve wracking and of course I wish I had said more!  After the whole thing was over I realized that the way I came to know Christ isn't as much of a testimony as what I am doing now, how He is working in my life now!! 

So I'll be continuing to work on that tad bit till the next time I'm asked to give it!

The biggest change in our family is losing my  father-in-law "dad" in August. People always say that it's best to die in your sleep.  yes... but... They don't ever talk about how hard it is for those who were left behind in the wake of this untimely abrupt death! Dad was like my father, he always supported me in whatever fight I was dealing with his wife my mother-in-law.  My first Christmas with Brian I received so many gifts and felt so welcome! Dad helped us out in so many ways, I know Brian misses him and it's going to take some time getting used to not having his dad here.

On that I just also want to remind everyone that the Lord never promises us any specific number of days on this earth.  In fact in the Bible He says "Your days are numbered!" Job 14:5 A man’s days are numbered. You know the number of his months. He cannot live longer than the time You have set. I think as far as my in laws were I always thought the best witness to them was to show them, show them my Christian life and how I trust in God... I thought I had time!  The Lord reminded me that when He took David Michael Runkel at the age of 62 in his sleep from a heart attack! My new goal is to do more with my mother-in-law.  Show her His love and witness to her every chance I get! Please pray for this as witnessing to your family is not always an easy road!

Here I am again! I feel that the Lord likes putting things right in front of me and says "Deal with this now, Jenn!"

I have a son with ADHD and I also have ADD yes so that means I'm to blame for the genetics of my son! I stopped reading my novels and started reading books on the ADHD and WHOA!! FYI there is a lot to know but everything can be corrected. IN the past I have held a job working with kids who have Autism. So this shouldn't be hard for me... well to say the least it is!! I'm have a temper kids with ADHD are super sensitive to anger and yelling and naturally have a low self esteem.  So I can fix this!! I can control my anger.  I have to laugh because I always think of the movie Anger Management starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.  Anger is the one thing you can never find once you've lost it!  I actually found a really good blog about controlling your anger http://theorangerhino.com/.  I'm going to try this with all my heart in hopes that one of the problems my son has we can control easily through my actions not his!

The other issue I have is lately I've been feeling that I need to do more as a mother. I'm constantly trying to fit everything in all before I go to work everyday. I don't remember as a youngster ever feeling rushed by my mom.  The goal is to have my bills paid ASAP and go back to working part time till the kids are older.  Yes I want to go back to school myself just now is not that time!  I always believe that the Lord will provide but I also need to get myself outta the whole. I got myself in that mess I can get myself out!

A good weekend.

So I went this weekend one day to my church's annual women's retreat.  I always find this retreat is such a blessing and a great way to share and rekindle my fire for Christ.  It is needed, believe me!  During free time I had my annual talk with a good friend and shared with her my struggle that I've been going through with my husband.  I won't go into detail about that cause seriously it's a big topic I'm not going to go into on here... But she shared with me how or rather where I could go for some guidance on the matter and even perhaps get my husband a mentor to help him out! I have to say that idea rather appeals to me and I will broach the subject with him soon. 

We had another group meeting and afterwards just before the end, L asked if anyone wanted to share how things are going with their life with God... No one spoke up. Side note real quick: I usually get a nudge from God when I need to speak up and I was ignoring it but L said it again and I decided to not ignore it.  I spoke up and shared that right now I'm struggling with God but I'd like prayer on one thing in particular and that was Brian's grandma who is dying.. I shared with everyone what happened and what I did and that if they could to keep praying that I can go back and keep sharing with her the good news of our Christ! Their love and support and so encouraging, I suggest everyone have a church like mine with a support like I get at my church!

I'm a rebel. I'm a REBEL! I'm a rebel?

Did you know that having tattoo's and body piercing is considered a rebellion? hmmm I struggle with this on a personal level and a broader more open level as well.

I often think of the reasons I got my tattoo's. I always gave them much thought and had guidelines before actually getting any, all have some reason of some sort... I promise!  :) I've been in many different stages of my life when I got them. Some are to document that I'm old enough I can make my own descison... My first the lizard on my hip! Others were to make I'm even older and still want to ink my body ... a frog on my back or the butterfly on my foot. Another to document my love for my brother whom I lost tragically and our common bond of our favorite group! Weight loss goal.. ladybug on my neck.  Then as time moved on they became art I love to see and admire.. flowers on my arm and shoulder.  I love every piece for its own reason and yet....

There is this little part of me that is free and wild and well... rebellious! Who wouldn't want to be covered in art and live free with no bousnderies? Well ok not everyone, but for me it's the little part I can do to show that I'm a rebel and there isn't much you can do about it!

Does this hinder my witness for God?????  I hope not honestly I hope that if you see them that is not what you judge me on? There is sooo oh so much more than you could possibly imagine that is going on with my life in Christ by just getting to know me.

So please talk to me ask about my ink and ask me about my personal relationship with Christ. He is not going to judge you by how you look on the outside, and He does want to know you personally!

Something BIG.. I mean Huge!

Brian's grandmother is dying. She has lost the will to survive, hasn't eaten anything for over 2 weeks. 

I was thinking about her as I drove this past week and the Lord put the burden on my heart to go talk to her about her salvation.  I know when the Lord is talking to me, when its a thought I can't shake. So I prayed that the Lord would not call on her end till after I've spoken with her at least once if not more. This process brought me to tears each time I thought about it, (which BTW happened about every time I was driving alone) I struggled with it since I have never really talked to her about it before and I admit I am still new at doing this. So in the days that followed I'd rehearse what I wanted to say in my head.  Come on I've heard this and know this my entire life. 
 For we have all sinned but fall short of the glory of God and only through Him can we ask for forgiveness and ask that our sins be washed white as snow. 

Sounds easy right? No! I'm an emotional ball of emotions when I go. Hello!? Have you ever visited someone who is on their death bed?  Trust me when I say it is something you would not want to see and it's emotional to say the least, then you put on my own ball of nervousness from speaking so pointedly.  I cried, got a hold of myself and told her the truth of our Lord.

I don't know if she understood or heard all that I was saying but I pray that she did and that she is thinking about it I will go again next week or sooner if Gpa calls to say she's nearing the end. But I gotta continue to pray that she did and she has been thinking out it even though she wants to die.  I told her I want to see her again I want to see her in heaven where it is beautiful and where Christ is and we will all my in His glory, I hope that last little bit is helping her too?

This was tough but I feel that if she understands me the truth shall prevail and the Lord does want us all!! No matter how much we have sinned! All we have to do is ask for His forgiveness and for His mercy........ 

Pray for her and that the message will sink and next time I go I speak up louder and she says in her own little way that she wants HIM!!